What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 19.06.2025 11:02
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
What is it that gives a man who is a submissive cock sucker his most pleasure?
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
Why is our generation so unhappy?
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
We all went to grammer schools
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
Can ringing in the ears be a sign of spiritual awakening?
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
They are buried together, in the same grave..
But, we were locked up after school.
What are the common formulas for improvising ornaments in bel canto singing?
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
He resisted the act ,that day.
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
Why is Harley-Davidson dropping diversity initiatives after the right-wing anti-DEI campaign?
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
What is your favorite cuckold experience?
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
Should women be allowed in “combat roles” within the military?
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
I did it because my mum asked me too!
What does "feeling like your life is over" mean and why is it not in any dictionary online?
And i lived it daily.
I never cut or harmed myself..
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
What is the best/cute/funny/playful chat/conversation between brother and sister?
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
Especially a lifetime of it.
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
Why are Indians so influenced by the Western culture, when the Indian tradition has so much to give?
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
And who doesn’t know suffering?
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
I don,t even have a pension.
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
The only rule us 5 kids had .
What's the gayest thing you have experienced on an only boys sleepover?
This is soul school!.
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
The #1 Spice to Help You Poop, According to Dietitians - EatingWell
She loved him until the end.
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
On the 31st of Jan this month .
I'm British and feel ashamed of the crimes of British colonialism. What should I do?
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
I was scared of men, in general
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
(And it was in our own minds.)
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
Who then, do I blame.?
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
I think the readers, may guess!
I write beautiful poetry .
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
Was to survive, this bastard.
She was in good health!
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
Ive learnt so much.
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
My mum and dad in the seventies!
It was going to be , some day.
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
When she asked me how she looked .
Would this be the day?
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
Why did i forgive my father ?
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
Comes on , in middle age.
But ive been too sick for many years..
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
I have no regrets .
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
Put me off passion for life!!
I was seconnd youngest,
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
My family never makes their pension either.
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
I know ,a lot about trauma.
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
She married twice! .
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
All the time i was locked up.
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
I will be 64.
One cannot live in the past .
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
So whats the point in blame.
Im dying but, im not bitter.
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
I was 9 years of age.
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
What did i know ?
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
I couldn’t, believe it.
I could never make a relationship work though!
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
She wouldn,t have been !
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
I was very sick at this time too.
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
He knew the spot.
We were not on the streets..
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
But it wasn’t much.
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
He was dying to do it , i knew.
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
My life is so biszare .
She found it foreign!.
Im still living with it.
Where the ultimate outsiders.
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
As i do to all so called friends.?
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
I waited trembling.
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
So, i spoilt her more .
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
I had hoped to write a book about this .
I said to her